I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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