you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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