I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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