Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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