dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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