with your own penis?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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