I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
