My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
