Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
