i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
