Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
