is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
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Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
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Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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