A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
