okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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