Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
