it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
