He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
