have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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