Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
