She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
