just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
