nut hugger
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
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I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
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Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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