Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
