the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
