i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
