Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
