And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
