you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
