Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
