the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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