Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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