She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
