I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize