I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
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