She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
