how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
