Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize