Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My feet surprised me
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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