Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
