there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize