Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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