You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
