Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
im holly from the hills drunk
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
