Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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