it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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