My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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