I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
