So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
