Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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