ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
