Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My dick has a subreddit
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
