You're my little dorito
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
