He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
