take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
