U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
dude i'm inner monologue high
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
