you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
