Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
