Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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