Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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