I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
